Somebody once to me “I never realised having dogs was so much like having children.”
…
In case it’s not obvious enough, this person does not have children.
I awkwardly smiled with a little laugh as surely they must have been joking…
They weren’t. The dog apparently wakes them up in the morning. Oh and likes cuddles when they get home from work.
END OF COMPARISON.
Here is what I wanted to say/should have said:
I’m sure you also lost two years of sleep due to the pups swinging off your nipples five times a night. The chaffing, the bulging boobs and soggy bras in the morning…oh, the dog licks your face each morning? What a calamity.
I can only imagine the washing you have to do. Three loads a day I’m on. I purposefully bought an additional laundry basket to try the disguise the amount there is to do. I think the last time I saw the bottom of the basket was five years ago.
I just love grabbing the lead and going for a frolic in the woods too. Just me, the kids, the nappies, the wipes, the snacks, the gloves, the wellies and the tangles of brambles. Just a week ago, I tried to go for a walk in the woods. I ended up with a muddy two-year old stuck on my hips for THREE HOURS as she refused to walk.
Clingy? Aw your puppies like to cuddle on your lap when you get home? I know what you mean. My two literally hook their arms around my ankles when I’m cooking. They shout my name repeatedly when I leave the room. They cry EVERY FRICKING MORNING when I drop them off at school. Bless ’em, eh?
Suffice to say, I haven’t spoken to this person for a while.
Playground Politics 