I know it’s horrible. I just don’t have the imagination/energy to keep up with them.

I will play some things; Lego, Hide & Seek and colouring. That’s about my limit.

When it comes to actively playing with action figures or pushing cars around, I genuinely consider causing an injury (to myself obviously – not the kids, that may be slightly extreme).

Toddlers are easy. They are repetitive and easily pleased. You can throw a ball of tin foil and they’re good for a while. But as they get older they become more demanding. I wouldn’t mind if they just required an occasional kick from my Power Ranger but it’s up to me to come up with the whole scenario and to be honest, I just can’t be arsed.

How many of your parents used to play with you? I remember playing with the cats more than anything else. But this was good for the imagination. I think children these days (I know I sound about 50 saying this) require us to do everything for them because we tend to be so involved now. I find my younger Turdette has more of an imagination than my older Turd because I have learned to step back and let her be bored so she can figure it out for herself.

It’s ok to sit some out sometime and let them be bored. I used to feel so guilty for saying no to playing but you may be surprised by the results (as long as you can withstand the first 15 minutes of puppy-dog eyes tying to guilt you into playing.)

The best toy they can have is their imagination.

   I reluctantly signed up to social media recently (to keep up to date with all the school stuff) and the reason for my reluctance is because of the false parenting snaps all over my news feed. Cheesy smiles from perfectly behaved kids who enjoyed an enriching craft morning followed by baking afternoon. Please.

   I wish more parents would open up about the realities of parenting and break down this taboo of not loving every second of it.

I would love to hear somebody answer with a “Do you know what, today I’m just not feeling it.” It makes you human. And makes you more likeable as a person. I’m so tired of hearing “Oh I’m great, we’re off to swimming because 1 year old George is an absolute water baby, just loves it. And then we’re going to the local farm park to feed the lambs and buy some organic produce to make courgette cakes with etc etc etc”  That person has neglected to include the tantrums getting into the car, getting into the pool, the poo in pool, the not-hitting-the-lamb-with-said-bottle and then lobbing the courgette cake up the wall. But again, the Instagram photos only capture the good.

   I think we should start a riot. A revolution – let’s post the god’s honest truth about how your day with little ones really is. Admit that sometimes it sucks. Give somebody else the courage to admit it is hard. Yes of course it is rewarding, heart warming and all that other jazz but let’s unite in the brutal reality of parenting and help reduce the devastating wealth of mum guilt and jealousy. No photo shopping life.

I’ll start:

Picture perfect:
For my daughter’s birthday, we went to farm park with the kids and their cousins to choose a pumpkin and do a fun Halloween Trail. Social Media Mum would post something like this:
“Cant believe my snowflake has turned two! She loved the pumpkin trail. Time for the cake her brother helped make! These two are my world!

Reality:
One child was sick in the car while the other whinged the whole way. Birthday princess moaned all around trying to keep up with the trail then refused to get into the family photo. My cake got stuck in the tin and after many attempts at scraping it and trying to squish it back together, we ended up buying one from Sainsbury’s while all six kids (not mine, thank god) trashed my house. Cider and chocolate also slipped into my shopping basket next to the Oscar the Bear cake.