The more school runs I do, the more I notice the “types”. I keep hearing the phrase “middle-class mum” thrown around but I’m not still sure what it means.

Fitness Bunny:  Slender and toned, she’s dressed in the latest gym gear yet is still wearing a significant amount of make-up. Nobody truly knows if they actually go to gym after school or if it’s all a front.  NB: My friend once told me she did this to fit in with the other mums and went straight home after drop-off so I’m suspicious of them all.

Stay-out-of-its: These mums are here for business. They get in, drop off and get out. No chit chatting with the other parents or signing up for PTA stuff. Usually full-time working mums who arrive bang on time to avoid any socialising. Pretty wise to be fair.

Little Miss Sunshine:  She flounces in, a bundle of smiles, everything is handed in/paid for on time, usually a member of the PTA and just loves everything. A little but too much. While this sounds like a great person to be around, she makes everyone else look inadequate and you may want to hit her from time to time. Also, when she does occasionally lose it, she seriously flips her lid.

The Dad: I know it’s sexist but let’s face it, when there is a dad on the playground all the mums treat them differently like some sort of hero. It can’t be helped. Dads are always quite friendly but nervous which is understandable.

Scary Mums: The mums whose kids you never want to mix with yours. They’re loud, verbally offensive and quite frankly scary. Could be nice as pie, but when they’re shouting at their child to shut up/hurry up/man up, everyone feels awkward and pretends not to notice while secretly hoping their kid never wants a play date with these.

The Scared: Not to be confused with the Scary Mums. These ones are like quiet and frightened mice.  Also pleasant and smiley when spoken to but never one to say what they’re really thinking, making them equally sweet as they are dangerous.

Working mummies: I don’t mean the majority of mums who manage to hold down a career while being a parent (i.e. my idols) I mean the ones who are so keen to let everybody know they work in every single conversation. Even when it’s not relevant. Like the pencil skirt and blouse wasn’t enough of a hint.

 NCT Mums:  So overly competitive but in such a smiley and almost modest way you just don’t know where you stand. They think everybody is interested in how little their kids wakes during the night or how much her kids could eat carrot sticks and houmous all day long.  And of course, how often they meet up with their “NCT mums”. Massive culprits of the #cherishedmemories and #feelingblessed.

Which of these sound most like you??